Straight from the Lam’s Mouth

Let me save you 102 minutes of your life. Nicholas Cage gets burned in a huge Wicker Man after being betrayed by a chick who used him for his baby juice, and then she wasted days before his death trying to convince him that their baby is going to be burned and he needs to save her. It sucks. Unless you are a sadistic woman who hates nice, innocent, helpful people, then you likely won’t appreciate the movie. This is the first movie that I don’t feel bad posting a spoiler for. Hopefully if you read the ending, then you won’t watch this awful movie. I feel like I have made a great sacrifice watching this movie and posting a spoiler because I might have saved an innocent person like you from wasting your own time. Do NOT make the mistake of thinking that I am missing subtle things to appreciate. Don’t try to fool yourself by thinking, “it can’t be that bad.”